Well, if I thought reading essays by 10th-graders on the topic of heroism was bad, I should have reserved my judgement for today. I spent the day reading about 250 essays by 10th-graders on the subject of patriotism. Naturally, the content was very similar to the other essays�99.9% expounding upon 9/11 and its geopolitical fallout, as seen through the 15-year-old lens. As I was reading them, I tried really, really hard not to let my own biases creep in, but after about two hours I discovered that I had a list on my desk next to my scoring sheet, and I was compiling, along with these 10th-graders, a list of things that are�and aren't�patriotism. I'll try to cut to the chase because I'm worried that the constant political bent of this forum is getting tiresome for the few readers it has. These are my thoughts as I recorded them:

� I am patriotic.

� Conservative scolds who contend that liberals (simply by virtue of being liberals) are not patriotic, are not patriotic. They are cynical.

� Members of the Bush cabinet who label dissenting American voices unpatriotic are not patriotic. They are cynical. And mean. And dangerous.

� It's hard to remember this far back, but people were patriotic before 9/11. They were not, as many claim, indifferent or apathetic. If we were so unpatriotic, why would we become so angry in December 2000 when the entire electoral process was scrapped in favor of a Supreme Court decision? Who's more patriotic: the candidate and his supporters who flout the democratic priveledge, or the ones who oppose him?

� To hang one American flag outside one's door is probably patriotic. To plaster one's gas-guzzling SUV with American flags is not. It is simply bad taste.

� Hating other countries is not patriotic. Likewise, hating the "establishment" is not activism. In fact, hate is very rarely anything but hate.

� Profiting from others' misfortunes is not patriotic.

� When some of my fellow lefty friends express a general distate with the way things are going in the US and express a desire to move to another country (usually somewhere "progressive" like Sweden, the Netherlands, or Switzerland) I sympathize, but remind them that these countries have their own problems: for example, few people know that, before 1971, Swiss women were not allowed to vote. I also remind them that, because of their generally-agreed status of being The Most Beautiful And Peaceful Nations On Earth, these places have astronomically high costs of living. If you can barely afford to pay rent in Iowa City, you're sure as hell not going to be able to afford a beer in Stockholm.

� Taxes are not unpatriotic. Hoarding wealth and depriving the less fortunate of basic human needs is not patriotic.

� John Walker Lindh is not a patriot. Nor is he a "threat to our freedom."

� Consuming more than our share of the world's resources is not patriotic.

� Maxing out your credit card is not patriotic. Rooting for one's favorite sports team is not patriotic. Having more babies is not patriotic.

� Going to church may, in an oblique way that I can't quite get my head around much less articulate here, be patriotic. Not going to church is very seldom unpatriotic.

� Americans have the right to be proud; we do not have the right to be arrogant and mean.

� Adlai Stevenson was onto something when he said that patriotism "is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime." Patriotism is not punching a protestor, shooting an Arab-American, watching Fox News, conducting a negative political campaign, or beating up a gay person. Patriotism is consistent, reasonable, and quite frequently humble and unobstrusive.

� Buying two American flags and sticking them on your Ford Blazer and then continuing, if not stepping up, your cycle of unmoderated material consumption and narcissistic self-indulgence in the name of "returning to normal" and "showing pride in America" is not patriotic.

� Volunteering, donating to charity, tutoring, writing to one's congressperson, recycling, carpooling, voting, and joining the Peace Corps is patriotic.

� Terrorism will never be entirely eradicated.

� Fighting for peace is still fighting.

� There is not, nor has there ever been, a contest to determine the greatest country in the world.

� "An eye for an eye" is not always the answer, nor is "turn the other cheek."

� In fact, nothing is never always anything.

� Every few days I realize another reason why I love America. Some of them are:

� We make pretty good movies. People in other countries operate entire bootlegging syndicates just to get copies of our movies when they are released Stateside.
� Our elections may have their flaws, but they are not a farce. Thousands of people turned out on the Capital Mall on Inauguration Day 2001 to protest the inauguration of a man who was simply not elected president. And none of them were shot for it.
� Our interstate highway system kicks serious ass.
� There is a panoply of order-in cuisine available to the average American at three a.m.
� The most popular televison show in America asks its viewers to sympathize with organized crime.
� The fucking Simpsons.
� The Great Lakes.
� America is big. You have a friend who lives in another state, you have to drive at least two or three hours to visit them. I have friends living thousands of miles away from me in every direction.
� Jonathon Franzen, David Foster Wallace, F Scott Fitzgerald, David Sedaris.
� Wilco, The Flaming Lips, Beck, Bob Dylan, Elliot Smith, Nirvana.
� Any citizen of the United States is guaranteed free public education. Not necessarily good public education, but a public education of some kind.
� Have I mentioned the highways?

Jenn and I went and saw 8 Mile yesterday. It was a solid picture. Watching it, I came to the following conclusions:

1. Eminem needs to smile. I know he's a tough guy and he has an image to uphold, but would it really hurt to smile just once in a while? All his homeslice broheims smile. He'd be so handsome if he'd just smile once in a while. (That last sentence should be read using my mother's voice.)

2. Detroit is the place to be! I'm moving there as soon as my lease is up. I could get a job in a steel mill, hang out with my friends at night, burn down abandoned houses, and party in clubs where I am the only white person! Detroit is, like, America's best-kept secret! It should be the next Seattle!

3. The Alley Cat should have hip-hop battles.

0 Comments

Back & Forth