It�s funny because it�s true: "Bush To Iraqi Militants: 'Please Stop Bringing It On'" (scroll down)

I think I'm getting better at small talk. Witness the following exchange in the breakroom I just had with a coworker, a middle-aged woman with whom I am not acquainted:

CW: Hello. How are you?
ME: Hi. How are you?
CW: Good.
[a considerable pause ensues while I contemplate what I am about to do]
ME: [boisterously] All set for a rainy weekend?!
CW: Oh, isn't that disappointing?
ME: I know! [chuckling sympathetically]

Success! I managed to incorporate the weather AND the fact that it's Friday: two heavyweights in the small-talk arsenal. If I had just complimented the woman's outfit, it would have been a glorious trifecta. This represents such a huge step forward for me; there was a time not long ago where she would have said hello and I would have run from the room twitching.

Hey, remember that song by the Doves, "Catch The Sun"? That�s one honey of a song.

When my uncle John Paul (my namesake) was trying to sell his Volkswagon Beetle in the early 1970s, he took out an ad in the paper. The car was a piece of shit, apparently, with a hole in the floor that allowed one to see the road below, and had to be parked on an incline so it could get a rolling start. But he wanted the ad to put the car in the best possible light, understandably, so he described the VW as a "honey of a car." He soon got a call from a man who sounded Chinese, and had seen the ad. "What is this 'honey of car'?" the man kept saying, with a thick Chinese accent. What is this honey of car, indeed.

Dino is incredibly brave.

The weather is so foggy that right now, if I look out the window from my desk on the 49th floor, I can see nothing. No buildings, not even the outlines of buildings, just grey. A totally original and brilliant joke that absolutely none of the attorneys on the floor have attemped is to walk past one of the windows and remark, "What a lovely view!"

April showers being May showers.

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