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EGO ... Phillip Seymour-Hoffman EGO: So I�ve been wondering something. SUPEREGO: I�m thirsty. ID: Always complaining. EGO: I think I�m a fraud. ID: What? Oh Jesus. SUPEREGO: That�s totally normal. EGO: Yeah, I know. It�s hardly anything new, but� ID: Is the curry good here? EGO: That depends. Red or green? ID: Oh, I don�t know. I can never decide. SUPEREGO: Who do I have to guilt-trip to get a glass of water around here? EGO: Anyway, am I? ID: Are you what? SUPEREGO: A fraud, he means. ID: Oh, right. Christ, I don�t know. Can we order first? EGO: Fine. Okay, green. The green�s better. SUPEREGO: There�s no way I�m getting curry if they won�t even bring me a glass of water. ID: People in Hell want ice water. SUPEREGO: What? That� ID: I�m just saying, is all. Man, this is good bread. SUPEREGO: �that�s totally irrelevant to� EGO: Oh hey, that�s another thing. SUPEREGO: �our conversation. It doesn�t even mean� EGO: That�s another thing I�ve been wondering about. SUPEREGO: If it�s about a haircut, the answer is yes. EGO: No. I�m not a religious person, but� ID: Yes, no, all of the above. EGO: Stop interrupting. ID: He started it. EGO: What I�ve been wondering is, um, do you think there�s a Hell? SUPEREGO: [Eyes rolling.] No. ID: Oh hell yes there is. [Chuckling.] Pun completely intended, gents. SUPEREGO: There is not a Hell. Don�t listen to him. ID: Wanna put money on it? SUPEREGO: No, I want a glass of water. EGO: So what�s it like? ID: What? The curry? I don�t know, I told you I�ve never� EGO: No, Hell. ID: Oh, yeah. Well, it�s kind of like� SUPEREGO: Oh man, here we go. ID: Okay, well ... You remember the other day, on the way to work, when you got all the way to the El station before you realized you�d left your wallet at home, and then you had to run all the way back home, get your wallet, and run all the way back? EGO: Yeah ... ID: It�s that. Over and over. EGO: Really? God, that�s awful. SUPEREGO: He�s lying. He�s full of lies. ID: Listening to, like, really shitty music on your iPod the whole time. EGO: Oh God! SUPEREGO: This is pseudophilosophical blueballs. EGO: All the way back and forth, all six blocks? SUPEREGO: A bunch of high-concept nothing. ID: Yep. And it�s even worse, because, like, you�re doing it metaphysically. SUPEREGO: That doesn�t even mean anything. EGO: Jesus. How bad is the music? ID: Oh, let�s say really bad. SUPEREGO: Stop it. ID: Ironically enough, Train. SUPEREGO: Please stop. EGO: Oh, God no! The band Train? ID: Yep. �Drops Of Jupiter�. EGO: Oh my god. ID: Yeah. Dante didn�t know the half. SUPEREGO: You know he�s making all this up. EGO: Physically running, back and forth? ID: Sprinting. In July. SUPEREGO: Lord knows you could use the exercise. ID: In wool slacks. EGO: That�s awful. SUPEREGO: Look, can we get back to the point? EGO: What was the point? ID: Yeah, what was the point? Hey, are you gonna have any more of that bread? SUPEREGO: Not without anything to drink I�m not. ID: Great, thanks. EGO: I�m worried I�m a fraud. ID: [Chewing] What? Oh, yeah. Well, you probably are. SUPEREGO: Like he needs to hear that! EGO: Well, maybe I am a fraud. ID: Maybe you are. Hell, we can�t really say for sure. SUPEREGO: Yeah. I mean, we�re not exactly unbiased observers. WAITRESS: Are you ready to order here? EGO: Yeah, I think� ID: No way, man! I haven�t decided yet. EGO: Uh�I guess I need another minute or so. SUPEREGO: Excuse me, could I� WAITRESS: Okay. take your time. [Walks away.] SUPEREGO: Goddamnit! EGO: Pipe down. SUPEREGO: Fucking hell. I can�t read this menu without my glasses. ID: I�m horny. |