LOOKING FORWARD TO: My haircut; the Tortoise show tonight in Millenium Park; Netflix delivering Ski Party to my door; the next entry in my Arnold Schwarzenegger movie marathon; Kickball; my comeuppance

This weekend I had a surprise birthday party for my roommate. It was a huge success. We had $175 in liquor and beer products and several people attended. Also, we made everyone try on the cowboy hat to test our theory that everyone looks hotter in a cowboy hat. Moreso women than men.

My co-workers and I were discussing how much we hate small talk, and how people around the office have templates of inane chatter for every day of the week, not just Mondays and Fridays. The breakdown looks something like this:

MONDAY: I Hate Mondays; Sounds Like Someone Has A Case Of The Mondays; I Am Performing Substantially Below My Optimal Quality And Rate Of Productivity Due To The Fact That It Is Monday; etc.

TUESDAY: Well, At Least It�s Not Monday; Tuesday Is Better Than Monday; I Cried Myself To Sleep Again Last Night; etc.

WEDNESDAY: It�s Hump Day; We�re Halfway Through The Week; I�m Looking Forward To Watching �Law & Order� This Evening Because I Structure My Life Around Television; etc.

THURSDAY: Friday�s Almost Here; The Week�s Almost Over; The Apocalypse Is Nigh; Did Anyone See �Law & Order� Last Night?; etc.

FRIDAY: Hey, At Least It�s Friday; TGIF; It�s Starting To Feel Like The Weekend; I�m Hoping To Drink Myself To Death This Evening; etc.

There�s a woman who I�ve seen on the morning train a couple of times who's always smiling. I mean it when I say "always"�her face is fixed in a permanent smile. It's unnerving and annoying. Perhaps she has a neurological condition. Plus, her hair is bad.

0 Comments

Back & Forth