26 Things About This Weekend
�2003 John Paul Mohan & Jennifer Anne Lucas

1. Atlas has $2 Sapphire Gin to get you nice and Atlassed.

2. "Burning Down The House," the Great White Story.

3. Casket; one weekend closer.

4. Dino can't make out with you; there's a dollar bill in front of his face

5. Eat at the Olive Garden: Because when you're here, you're our effeminate waiter

6. Fucking awesome

7. Gingina, the female equivalent of Whiskey Dick

8. Hello "Hangover" Kitty

9. Interpol, and the new dance Jenn invented

10. Jamie Berger is Jenn's new best friend

11. The Kathryn Muselik Ballerina Explosion

12. Lesbian folk singers invade Iowa City

13. Matt & Lorelle went to their law school prom

14. Nicole "Beaky Nose" Kidman and her performance in Oscars For Everyone, aka The Hours

15. O is Obviously not your blood type; your Operation is botched

16. Phil Collins and my distrubing dream about him

17. Quaking with drunkenness

18. Reefer madness, the Jenn Lucas on Friday Night Story

19. Streetcar Named Desire, A, inexplicably re-set in 1983 by the UI Theatre Dept

20. Teeth whitener makes Jenn lisp

21. Undulating Vodka Jello mixture sure to make you do things you regret

22. "Valerie," the new Dino Balocchi song destined to propel Nolan to success

23. Wu-Tang cancels their show in Grinnell; Ransom resorts to beer for entertainment

24. Xylophone

25. Yakity yak, Mike Tyson attack

26. Zora rocks! Be sure to tune in to FOX, Monday at 8 pm!

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