Okay. Here's the deal.

This is news to most of you, but some of you have been asking me if I'm really serious about changing my name. Let me go on record now as saying: yes. I am serious about changing my name. I am changing my name. This is not a joke. The legal machinations have been set in motion. $150 and thirty days later, I will legally be known as Jake Mohan.

Why, you ask? Well, there are several reasons. The first is that I want a normal name. I'm tired of having initials for a name. I'm tired of prospective employers calling me John because that's what it says on my application. I'm tired of the Pope jokes. The second reason is that my parents and my extended family have been calling me Jake all my life. The day I got back from the hospital after being born, my father immediately started calling me Jake. Go figure.

Changing one's name can often smack of pretention and/or dippiness. I generally try to avoid appearing pretentious or dippy, but this particular gesture carries some important personal meaning and will also make my life a bit easier in some ways, so I'm willing to take that risk.

Why now? Well, now seems as good a time as any. But bear in mind: I don't expect anyone who already knows me to start calling me Jake. You can still call me whatever you've always called me, be it John Paul, JP, Japes, P, Shippy, Earl Shitty Crapface of Poopshire, etc. But if you're introducing me to someone new, setting me up on a blind date (with hilarious results!), or reporting my suspicious activities to the Department of Homeland Security, you might as well call me Jake, and then we can all revel in the confusion.

That's all. Carry on.

Love,
Jake (!)

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