I miss being a dipshit in the Wal-Mart portrait studio.

I predict that, if and when I get married, all the toasts at my reception will be lifted directly from Friendster testimonials.

Today in the cafeteria the pasta chef making my pasta threw some garlic into the pan and said, �Bam!� and before I could stop myself, I laughed aloud.

Check this out! Dino, let�s send them �California�.

MARGARET: She has nice skin.
JAKE: Not as nice as yours.
MARGARET: Thank you.
JAKE: No problem. I just finished that chapter in the Boyfriend Manual.

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